This has been adapted from the original post. Read the full article on Cosmopolitan Online.
"I felt like I'd failed – I didn’t know how common miscarriages are"
Losing a child, suffering a miscarriage or having a stillborn baby is undoubtedly one of the most difficult things a person can go through in life. The stigma that surrounds discussing death and grief can also add to feelings of loneliness – which is why it makes such a difference to bereaved parents when celebrities and public figures speak out.
Baby loss at any stage in pregnancy is one of the most devastating experiences that any family can go through – and it really can happen to any family, but persistent stigma means it’s rarely discussed despite affecting so many.
It’s vital that we break the silence so that anyone who loses a baby knows: this may feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone. Friends and family, doctors and midwives, all of us, we’re here.
Here are 19 well known names who've very sadly lost a baby and opened up about the experience publicly.
Anne Hathaway
The Devil Wears Prada star, 41, has revealed she suffered a miscarriage in 2015, at which time she was acting as a pregnant character in a one-woman show. "The first time it didn’t work out for me. I was doing a play and I had to give birth onstage every night," Hathaway told Vanity Fair.
In the interview, she recalled being shocked when learned how many people she knew had gone through a similar experience.
"I thought, Where is this information? Why are we feeling so unnecessarily isolated? That’s where we take on damage. So I decided that I was going to talk about it," she said.
"The thing that broke my heart, blew my mind, and gave me hope was that for three years after, almost daily, a woman came up to me in tears and I would just hold her, because she was carrying this [pain] around and suddenly it wasn't all hers anymore."
Paloma Faith
Singer and actress Paloma bravely spoke about her experiences while appearing on podcast, How to Fail with Elizabeth Day. She told how she had a miscarriage while filming a fight scene on 2019 drama, Pennyworth. "I just thought to myself, it's gone so I might as well carry on with what I was doing. I had to go to the toilet nine times.
"I told them I ate something bad last night because I knew if I told them they would escort me home. I didn’t want to. I would just be going home without work and without a viable pregnancy."
Paloma also revealed she had an ectopic pregnancy after undergoing IVF treatment."I then had an ectopic pregnancy with the first one then my fertility starts going because I’ve had one tube damaged. The second time worked, so I was lucky because I actually ended up with two viable pregnancies quite quickly."
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend
Chrissy shared personal photos after losing her baby boy, Jack, due to pregnancy complications. She candidly spoke about her grief on social media, writing in an Instagram post, "We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough."
She continued, "We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.
"We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it."
Chrissy's husband, singer John Legend also spoke about his grief following the loss of little Jack. He shared his wife's post with the caption "We love you, Jack" followed by several heart emojis. Tommy's say, "More needs to be done to support fathers and partners [too]. It's important to remember that the physical aspect of miscarriage can be distressing for men as well – while they won't personally suffer the physical pain, many fathers feel frustrated, angry and powerless to help their partner."
Michelle Obama
In her memoir, Becoming, Michelle wrote about her experience of miscarriage: "I felt lost and alone, and I felt like I failed because I didn’t know how common miscarriages were, because we don’t talk about them. We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken. I think it’s the worst thing that we do to each other as women, not share the truth about our bodies and how they work, and how they don’t work." The former First Lady went on to conceive two daughters, Sasha and Malia, with the help of IVF.
Malin Andersson
Love Island contestant Malin has been vocal about the loss of her daughter, Consy, on multiple occasions and is passionate about ending the stigma that surrounds grief. Her baby girl passed away at just four weeks old, having been born seven weeks prematurely and with a rare heart condition. "I’d carried a baby for seven months and then nothing," Malin told OK!. "I felt empty, I have a scar where my baby has been taken out of me but there is no baby. I am a mum without a baby. I couldn’t stop thinking, why me?"
She later wrote an open letter to Consy on Mother's Day: "Like me, I know there are other mothers facing darkness on Mothering Sunday. Women are out there feeling alone. I salute anyone that has lost their mother, or daughter. Just remember that you are never alone, someone else out there is going through exactly the same thing."
Lily Allen
Lily's son, George, was stillborn after six months of pregnancy. The talented singer emphasised the importance of good support during a conversation with Jonathan Ross. "I think it's difficult for anybody, actually what I took home from that experience was… Even though it was the most unfortunate thing that can ever happen to a person, I was very fortunate in the sense that I have a loving partner to go home to and share that experience with."
She added, "There are many women – 17 stillbirths happen in the UK everyday – that go home and they don't have that support, they have to go home and deal with that on their own.
Beyoncé
Opening up about the experience in her documentary, Life Is but a Dream, Beyoncé recalled how music helped with her grief. "About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time. And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life," she said, adding that at a later appointment the heartbeat could no longer traced. "I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life... It was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through." She has since had three children with husband Jay-Z – Blue Ivy, Rumi and Sir.
Keanu Reeves
The actor's former partner, Jennifer Syme, delivered their stillborn daughter Ava on Christmas Eve of 1999. A year later, after the couple had split, Jennifer was tragically killed in a car accident. Speaking to Parade magazine in 2006, Keanu said, "Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, 'It’s gone, and I’m better.' They’re wrong. When the people you love are gone, you're alone." He added, "I miss being a part of their lives and them being part of mine. I wonder what the present would be like if they were here – what we might have done together. I miss all the great things that will never be."
Gweneth Paltrow
The actress, who shares two children, Moses and Apple, with Coldplay singer, Chris Martin, told the Daily Mail in 2013, "My children ask me to have a baby all the time... but I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third. It didn’t work out, and I nearly died. So I am like, 'Are we good here or should we go back and try again?'"
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